Feeling the Feelings

My grandfather is a very quiet person. I remember when I was young; I was brought back to my father’s home town on every Chinese New Year. The moment when we turn into the junction reaching towards my grandfather’s house, my father will start reminding us to say all sorts of greetings to my grandfather… and, “remember say it loud”. So, every time we said the flowery greetings and were saying it real loud. Every time my grandfather will answer “hai…(yes)”, “enn…” with a smiling face. If he’s in a good mood, he’ll ask “how are you?” or “have you eaten?” I know everything sounds normal, but the thing is, I’ve never talked to my grandfather before. Except the greetings and “ye ye (grandfather) eat.” I’ve never talked to him about anything else. The silence-ness in him makes him looks serious and cool, my entire cousin doesn’t dare to talk to him, and he doesn’t bother to talk to us. Now, 20years later, when I look back, somehow I understand why he was so silent. He had been through a very hard time during his 30s (cut short the long grandma stories). People became more and more silent when they feel others won’t understand. Soon, they become totally silent and thinking no one needs to understand. I guess when you reach a certain stage of life, you’ll somehow experience this. You became quiet (the adults called it “mature”), not as noisy as last time… the time when you have no pressure at all… the time you were in primary school… the time when you need your teacher to spank you to make you quiet.
People are meant to misunderstand each other. No one ever understands you; because you are who you are, and you yourself don’t even understand why and how your personalities are grown in you. The happiest life is without worrying how others feel, as long as u know you are doing the right things… although people might take it a “wrong things”. We can’t control other’s feelings, people feel what they wants to feel and sometimes, they don’t even know why they are feeling that way. Instead of explaining to others, why not just let them feel what they are feeling? Because feelings are just feeling, it will somehow be gone as time pass. Only god understands you, he knows you by name, before you were born. Because He created you.